HEALING VS REELING

Today I was reading a post from my friend Adriana's Facebook page about feeling more love and compassion for myself and others (www.tinybuddha.com/blog - love & relationships category) when I wondered if I had been doing enough of these five things the author had listed. It seemed that my life had been reeling out of control for a while, and although I am a Truth student, I believe they call it a faith practice for a reason. If I practice long enough and often enough one of these days I will get it right. In the meantime, taking my self-love temperature might be a useful tool in healing my way out of the free-falling downward spiral I continue to find myself in.

Recently, I realized that I had not been using my Truth to enlist the Universe or my Divinity to guide me through my days, hours or even minutes. I had been continually engaging in doubt, fear and that monster of all - negativity. In fact, I had been wallowing  and reeling in it. I had my moments of light sure, but I was flying under the consciousness radar a little too long for comfort. Oh, the bumps and bruises I endured. When I stepped back into the light I often found it too difficult to remain there. Yup. I needed to "practice" healing and loving me a little bit more.

Healing is a long process.  A traumatic experience can really jolt you out of your seat and away from your core and it may take a while for you to find a way back. For me, I questioned everything around me. Too many things didn't seem right. So much seemed and felt out of place. Little made sense anymore. I engaged willingly in negative self talk. I didn't practice love and forgiveness to me much less others. My human experience overtook my spiritual presence to the point that I felt lost and wayward. I could go through motions, but not have the feelings which went with them. I was at my worst.

Thankfully, I have terrific prayer partners, mentors and a reverence for angels who I know surround me always. I am grateful for the sensibility to turn toward them when I am turned away from my Source. I understand that even at my worst, I am not alone and each experience I feel is felt by others. John Donne got it right when he wrote, "No man is an island entire of itself." I often forget this and in doing so fail to realize what I am putting out in the universe is most assuredly what I am delivering to my self. I know and can do better.

My prayer partners, mentors, family and friends lifted me up when I was uncertain. They sent me messages of hope which spoke to my inner being. They shared moments of joy and prosperity offered intellectual and spiritual perspectives I hadn't considered. They listened, offered shoulders, outings, meals, financial help and sometimes a place to rest my head. They gave me service work to do. And most of all they reminded me that even when I feel most alone, separated and disassociated from the rest of the planet, I am not. There is always someone there paying close attention.

I recall in particular a lengthy late night phone call with a friend from back home on Facebook. Jacquie gave me the pep talk to end all pep talks. As she lovingly extolled some of my better virtues, she simultaneously chastised me for not doing enough for me to ensure the work I am doing will succeed. She let me know that people do indeed pay attention, that people are watching and supporting even when we don't know it. She told me in no uncertain terms that my words, my work was integral to our community and an essential part of others' experiences. Her conversation help me understand how much I mattered at a time when I was feeling a bit inconsequential. Angels have a way of doing that. And it is a reminder that we are all capable of being an angel to someone when they need one.

We all have felt separate, apart from others and at times apart from our Source. We sometimes feel disjointed, off our game, out of step. In those moments, it is important to remember that we are growing, changing and we are not only not alone, but we are not alone in feeling this way. Those moments of doubt are opportunities for growth and transformation and for connection. It is in acknowledging our imperfections that we become closer to our perfection, our divine selves. The healing overtakes the reeling which momentarily made us feel lost. And in expressing our feelings we offer others an opportunity to connect and be healed.

I am healing and I am healed. In short, I am a constant work in progress. I keep moving forward taking one step, one day at a time. Fortunately, I am beyond the baby steps of yesterday and am gaining a sure and steady stride. No more tumbling and reeling for me - one can surely hope. I am healing and stepping into my greatness. I allow my divine self to order my steps the first of which is to remember to love me. And all else will follow.

Robin "Bobbie!" White is an award-winning author and philanthropist. She is Executive Director of We Can We Care, Inc. which is dedicated to decreasing poverty and enriching the lives of the world's poorest children by building homes and schools and by providing renewable and sustainable resources for their health and well being. You can find out more about the organization at www.wix.com/sunsetpointe/wecanwecare.


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